CALL CENTER BLOOPERS

I've been working on a call center for almost 3 years now and it was really fun having these different kinds of experience. One thing I could share to you are these different kinds of bloopers we have on the site. It is not just for the agent but as well as the customer's. Here are some examples of it:

SCENARIO 1
agent: MA'AM? IS IT OK FOR ME TO CALL YOU BACK? => what the heck?

SCENARIO 2
agent asking the customer what Operating System is he/she using on his/her computer...
agent: ARE YOU USING MICROSOP WENDOWS XP? => how did this agent pass the language/english test?

SCENARIO 3
customer: oh my god! i left my computer for about 20 min. and now i am receiving an error.... this is the first time i receive this..
agent: ma'am ok... i apologize what can you see on the screen?? can u please describe it??
customer: my screens background is black.. and there is a Windows Xp logo bumping across my screen..(customer sounds like crying)
agent: (Think....) oh! ma'am it is only a screen saver.. please press any button (mute...) and laugh out loud!!!! hehehhe!!!! => are American's really that dumb?

SCENARIO 4
agent was trying to tell the customer where to find the serial number and what it starts with...
"The serial number usually starts with..C as in CAT..and N as in NANCY..or M as in MARY and Y as in XRAY... => whaaaaattt??? where did you get Y as in XRAY? did you finish school?

SCENARIO 5
customer: would there be a way for me to get to you directly, if I call back again?
agent: I'm sorry sir, but we don't have any direct extension numbers....
customer: but I don't want to explain everything again to the next agent.....
agent: But I'm really sorry sir.... we really don't have direct extension numbers.... so there is no way for you to get into me.... => what?!!! customer getting into the agent? how's that?

SCENARIO 6
customer verifying the serial number of the product...
SERIAL NO. OF YOUR HP PRODUCT
C-CHARLIE
N-NANCY
D-DAVID
#-
#-
AND
Q - CUCUMBER => wow! how the hell did you come up with that word?

SCENARIO 7
agent building rapport with customer...
customer: wow, this installation takes a long time, by the way, do you love music?
agent: yes sir!
customer: do you know BOB MARLEY?
agent: yes, I know BOB MARLEY, he plays ROCK music!!
customer: HUH?! => what?! doesn't he play reggae music?

SCENARIO 8
customer: “You spika Spanish?”
agent: “Oh, no, sir, I don’t. I’ll just transfer you to the Speaking Department. Oh, sorry, the Speaking Spanish Department.” => whaaaaat?!?! so does that mean that there is also a Listening Department, Reading Department and Writing Department? lol

SCENARIO 9
agent doing his opening script...
agent: thank you for calling hp total care my name is Mark, am i correct? => don't you know who you are? what a disaster...

SCENARIO 10
agent doing his closing script...
agent: did i resolved the issue that you were calling for?
customer: yes ! you did a great job!
agent: alright..before i close this call sir..is there anything that i can do to you? => guess what? the customer could say "you could give me blowjob!!!" lol

SCENARIO 11
after placing the order, agent is about to give the confirmation number to the customer...
agent: I'm going to give you your CSO number, do u have a pen and pencil? => say whaat now? what are the pen and pencil for?

SCENARIO 12
agent asking for the customer's EMAIL address...
agent: can i get your email address?
customer: i just moved into my new address, i dont know it yet... => stupid!! ahahaha

SCENARIO 13
agent doing a troubleshooting on wireless printer...
agent: Please connect your printer sa port sa router. => HAHAHA!!!

SCENARIO 14
the agent was offering the customer for an esp (extended service plan) with adp (accidental damage protection) for the printer...
agent: ma'am, we have an offer here in HP and it's called Accidental Damage Protection. The good thing about this offer is that, if you take advantage of our offer and purchase the warranty extension with accidental damage protection you will be protected from accidents! => what is this? an insurance company? i though HP sells printers, desktops, laptops, etc..

SCENARIO 15
agent: kindly close all the IE windows that you opened (referring to internet explorer window)
customer: give me a minute
...after waiting for about 5mins
agent: so is it already closed
customer: in a hurry yes i already close my windows.. whats the reason why i have to close my windows
agent: what windows did you close?
customer: my windows in my house as you said..... => really dumb customer

SCENARIO 16
customer(irate): Let me speak to your supervisor, right now!
agent: One moment pls...
...after 5 mins
supervisor: Hello sir, this is _________ a supervisor on the floor. How may I be of assistance? customer: Are you really a supervisor?
supervisor: Yes I am sir.
customer: Then let me speak to YOUR supervisor.
supervisor: You asked for a supervisor. That's why I am talking to you right now.
customer: Oh yeah! Well I want to speak to your company's manager. In fact, I want to speak to the highest person there!
supervisor: Oh, so do you want to talk to God?
customer: What the f***! (customer hanged up)
After 2 days that supervisor was terminated...

SCENARIO 17
agent asking the privacy question to customer...
agent: may hp contact you by phone,mail or female??? => what now? FEMALE? shouldn't that be email? lol